How Does Lack Of Confidence Affect You?

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Welcome to today's episode! We're diving into uncovering what is really going on with that lack of confidence. Once we pinpoint the issues, we can develop strategies to build your confidence.

What is a lack of confidence?

 A lack of confidence is essentially a lack of belief in yourself and your abilities. You might not feel confident in day-to-day life, which can mean you have a hard time believing in yourself.  This could manifest as thinking you're not good enough, you feel like a failure and it filters through to everything you do.

It can feel like everything you do is filtered through this lack of belief. This lack of belief can affect all areas of your life—whether it's performing in sports, excelling at work, or even general activities like exercising and basic living of life. When you don't believe in yourself, you don't trust yourself, and you don't feel good enough. This affects your self-confidence and can stem from experiences and beliefs formed during your upbringing.

What's Holding You Back - Why Do You Have A Lack of Confidence?

To uncover what’s holding you back, we need to strip back the layers of beliefs and experiences that have built up over time. I realized my own lack of belief came from a fear of failure and not being good enough. Sometimes we blame external factors, but often, it's about the expectations we set for ourselves. Therefore it's about understanding where these beliefs come from. 

By identifying the root causes of your lack of confidence, you can start to address them. It's about recognizing those fears and beliefs that have held you back and working through them. And once you know what's holding you back, you can build strategies to boost your confidence and you can develop strategies to build your belief in yourself. It’s a process, but by being aware of your thoughts and feelings, you can start to change them.

It's common to hear things like "I'll never make it" or "so-and-so is better than me." These negative thoughts often come from comments made by others—friends, adults, or even strangers. Over time, especially during vulnerable periods like teenage years, these comments can reinforce the belief that you're not good enough or that you're doomed to fail.

As we grow, our perceptions can shape our beliefs about ourselves. If you've consistently heard or felt that you're not good enough, it creates a fear of failure. This fear can stick with you into adulthood, becoming a persistent barrier.

How Do We Break Free From This Cycle of Lack of Confidence?

It starts with awareness. Recognize that these beliefs have likely been ingrained over time. For me, the fear of failure and not being good enough were major obstacles. When I lost a match in tennis, it confirmed my worst fears and perpetuated a negative cycle.

How did I overcome that?

It took a lot of self-reflection and work. One exercise that helped me is from my book, "Focus: How to Reach Your Potential in Sport, Business, and Life." We'll work through a part of a chapter today, and then you can do an exercise to uncover your core beliefs.

What's Your First Step?

Let's start with the Seven Level Why's exercise.

• This powerful tool helps you identify your core beliefs and feelings about your goals. For instance, dues to my lack of confidence I realized my core belief that I wasn't good enough stemmed from a tennis tournament I played when I was 10. I thought that giving it my all and still losing would prove I wasn't good enough. This belief affected my decisions and performance for years which kept reinforced my lack of confidence.

What do we will do next is that I’ll guide you through the exercise in my book.

• We’ll explore your core beliefs and work on strategies to build a more positive mindset. This way, you can start replacing those negative thoughts with empowering ones.